You Are My Snow White
by happyndhilarious
Summary: Dorrien visits the Guild after ten years to look for Sonea. But all he finds is the wife of the High Lord and a proud mother. Dorrien wants to find out how he had lost Sonea to a man he knows she had loathed. AU R&R Short chapters
1. Chapter 1

**A story about Dorrien coming back to the Guild. But when he goes looking for Sonea he finds her married and a proud mother. He's eager to find out how that happened... Maybe a little Sonea/Akkarin fluff. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own TBMG.

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**Dorrien could see the great towers of the Guild as his horse turned round the last corner. In front of him lay the Guild gates. He could already see his father standing there to greet him and he had to smile.

"Dorrien" he said and smiled, "finally. I missed you, son."

"I missed you too." Dorrien jumped off his horse and embraced Rothen shortly. He seemed happy; thin, but happy.

"How are you?" Dorrien asked as he walked beside Rothen towards the magicians' quarters.

"I'm well" he answered. "How are you? Haven't seen you for... for 10 years. What have you been doing?"

"There was a lot of work to do" Dorrien replied. "I would have come sooner but I didn't want to abandon my village."

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Rothen asked when they arrived at his rooms.

"I'm fine" Dorrien answered.

He was eager to talk about Sonea. He hadn't seen her for ten years and he wanted to see if she was alright. When he mentioned her Rothen's smile became forced.

"She's fine. I talked to her yesterday and she's perfectly happy. I don't see a reason you should visit her right now - why don't you wait until tomorrow when the Administrator and the other Higher Magicians come to welcome you."

Dorrien shrugged. "Fine." He didn't want to bring his father's attention to his urgent questions, since he was eager to learn how Sonea was doing. He had heard she had become an excellent Healer and worked in the slums to be able to help the poorer people and dwells. Dorrien admired her for that, for wanting to go back into such a poor, neglected quarter of the city.

The next morning Dorrien found himself sitting on a bench, letting the sun shine on his face. He hadn't got the chance to speak to Sonea yesterday, so he was eager to see her today. Rothen had told his son she usually went to the city early in the morning so Dorrien decided to catch her before she left.

All he could see now were some novices, hurrying off to the university, and a few magicians who enjoyed the morning sun as he did. But suddenly he heard a child's voice squeaking: "How many years till I can go there, too?"

Dorrien smiled, imagining a little child wanting to know how long until he or she could go to classes.

But the answer was it that made him freeze. "Honey, you've asked this around twenty times now. You'll have to wait some years."

Dorrien knew this voice. It was a female voice - and it belonged to Sonea. He stood up and looked around but all he could see was, two hundred paces away, a family, two adults and two little children. Nobody else was here.

"How many years?" the child asked. The sound came from the family. But that couldn't be.

"Ten, sweetie." This time a male voice spoke. It sounded familiar but Dorrien couldn't say who it belonged to.

The family came nearer and he looked at the woman's face. A voice whispered: _It is her... She's married... She's forgotten you... She's with someone else now... She's married..._

Dorrien shook my head desperately and tried to search for a reason why Sonea would walk beside a man, two children in front of her. Suddenly he remembered to see who the man was. Maybe it was this Cery boy, one of Sonea's oldest friends... she wouldn't marry him, of course...

But the man beside her wore robes. Black robes. High Lord's robes. Akkarin's robes.

_She's married to Akkarin._

Dorrien drew in a sharp breath and let it out slowly.

The child - a girl - screamed: "Then let's go out, please. We can visit Cery - please, mommie. Daddie."

The other child, a boy, around a year older than his sister, answered: "Sicily, stop yelling. You're annoying me."

"Mako, be nice" the woman - Sonea - said sharply. "She isn't annoying."

Sicily laughed happily. "Then let's go. We can go to Gerra and Timme."

"Harrien and his family are on vacation, honey" Sonea said. Dorrien still couldn't believe it.

But there was no doubt. They were no less than twenty paces away and he recognized her face. She looked happy. More than happy. She seemed to glow. She was beaming as if she were the happiest person on the world.

_She is... She's a _mother._ You can't beat that feeling. You lost her the moment you left the Guild to take care of your village..._

Sonea now looked up and her eyes met his. Dorrien quickly turned around and walked back the way he had come. He wanted to hear her shout his name, but he heard nothing. She _had _forgotten him.

What had happened? How had he taken her from him?

Dorrien couldn't stop walking until he stood in front of Rothen's door. He didn't bother to knock, he just entered and threw himself onto his old bed.

_She's married..._

It seemed so final. So definite.

But was it?

He could make her fall in love with him again. She _had been _in love with him. He was sure of that.

But did he want to destroy the life she had built? Her family?

Dorrien couldn't do that to her. He wanted her to be happy.

But didn't he want to be happy himself?

He had to find out what had happened. How he lost her.

And he had to find out if_ he_ still wanted her then.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys for your reviews. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own "The Black Magician's Guild"**

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Dorrien was still sitting in his room when Rothen came in to inform him that the Higher Magicians were there to welcome him.

Dorrien looked up. "Do I _have_ to meet them?"

Rothen looked worried. "Is something wrong?"

Dorrien shook his head quickly. "No, it's just… Alright, I'm coming."

He followed Rothen out of his rooms into the University to Lorlen's office.

Rothen looked at his son before he knocked. "Are you sure you're well? Excuse me for saying it, but you look a little pale."

Dorrien shrugged. "I'm just a little nervous. And I miss my village. To leave it alone for a whole year is a great step."

Rothen smiled weakly. "You have to come home from time to time. We all here miss you. I do. Tania does. Dannyl does, though he's on a journey to Lonmar right now." He hesitated. "Sonea does."

Dorrien was about to snort when the door opened and the familiar figure of Lorlen came out. He smiled at him.

"Welcome back, Lord Dorrien. How are you? Would you like to come in?"

Dorrien smiled back. "I'm fine, thank you, Administrator. Of course."

They stepped in. Three of the chairs were already taken. Dorrien recognized Lady Vinara, Head of the Healers, in green robes, Lord Sarin, Head of Alchemists and Lord Balkan, Head of Warriors. He politely bowed his head.

"Higher Magicians, thank you for the reception. I appreciate your attention."

Lorlen sat down. "Lord Dorrien, what can you tell us about your village?"

Dorrien shrugged. "Nothing special has happened. The people come to me when they have health problems and I can mostly heal them. They appreciate to have a Healer there and thank the Guild."

Vinara nodded. "That is good news."

"How was your journey?", Sarin asked. "The weather was good. You shouldn't have come in any storms."

Dorrien shook his head. "You're right. I was quick. I…"

A knock at the door interrupted him. Dorrien looked up and froze.

Akkarin came in and sat down without a word. He smiled wryly. Dorrien clenched his hands into fists. He hadn't expected the High Lord to come. He had hoped he wouldn't come.

"Lord Dorrien, welcome back to the Guild. How was your journey?", Akkarin said and looked into Dorrien's eyes. Dorrien didn't look back.

"It was good", he said stiffly. "I had no problems."

"Good to hear."

Dorrien nodded. Rothen, sensing the tense atmosphere between them, said casually: "How's the new road to Sachaka going? I heard they were some obstructions near the border."

Dorrien glanced at Akkarin and saw with surprise that he was frowning. Lorlen shot a look at his friend as well and cleared his throat to answer Rothen's question.

"It's going well. We will be finished in no more than two years. I know that it sounds long but after all it's a long road which needs time to be built."

Rothen nodded. Balkan turned to look at Dorrien. "Now, Lord Dorrien, I haven't heard any news that you've gotten married. Have you?"

Dorrien felt his face flush a little. "No, I haven't", he said and couldn't resist to raise his eyebrows at Akkarin.

The High Lord didn't seem to care. He kept smiling his small wry smile and Dorrien suddenly felt hate inside.

He stood up abruptly. "High Lord, Administrator, Higher Magicians, I think I will go now. Thank you again for your reception. I really appreciate."

He left the room, turned around the left corner and bumped into someone.

A voice said hastily: "I'm sorry, mister."

Dorrien looked down. A little girl stood in front of him. She wore a dress, her black hair neatly tied up.

"It's alright", Dorrien replied, amused. "Where are you going?"

"I'm searching for my parents", she said, smiling. "I know they must be here somewhere. I saw them going here. My name is Sicily, who are you?"

Dorrien suddenly remembered where he had seen the girl before.

It was the girl he'd seen with Sonea. She was her daughter.

He froze and felt his face go white.

"Are you alright?", she girl squeaked.

Dorrien nodded quickly. "I am Lord Dorrien. Now, can you tell me", he paused, "how long have your parents been married?"

Sicily stared at him. "Well, I don't know exactly", she said, considering. "But I think around six or seven years."

Dorrien pressed his lips together. "And have you heard my name before?", he asked with causal voice.

Sicily stared at him. "No, Lord Dorrien. I haven't."

Dorrien nodded quickly. "Do you want to go for a walk? It's nice weather and…"

"Daddy!"

Dorrien watched Sicily run past him. He turned around in apprehension.

Sicily was holding Akkarin's hand while her father stared at Dorrien in disapproval.

"Thank you, Lord Dorrien, but I can take care of my daughter myself." His voice was cold.

Dorrien looked down. "I wouldn't have doubted that, High Lord. I better go now."

"Yes. You better do."

Dorrien turned around and hurried back to the Magicians' Quarters. He didn't stop to greet Tania but rushed into his room.

So it was true. Everything he'd suspected, everything he'd feared…

And she had married him so soon after he'd gone.

At least soon after she'd graduated. And they must have planned it before then. Maybe they even were already in love when Dorrien was visiting the Guild ten years ago…

And she had tried to tell him but he had thought… He had guessed it was just because she was a novice and couldn't be with him.

But it wasn't. She wouldn't be with him because she was in love with someone else.

And this someone had just found him talking to their daughter.

Dorrien buried his face in his hands. This was embarrassing. And hurting.

He had to talk to her. He had to know what had happened.

No. He took a deep breath. At first he had to talk to Rothen.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, actual reviews. Thank you guys!! xD Disclaimer: I DO NOT own "TBMG"**

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"So what do you want to talk about?", Rothen asked and looked at his son.

Dorrien hesitated. When his father had come home he had asked if they could talk. Now they were looking each other in the eyes.

"If I ask you whether you know Sonea is married", Dorrien asked meaningful, "would you lie?"

Rothen stared at him for a long while. Finally he answered, choosing his words carefully, "No, I wouldn't. But I would tell you not to care too much, since you're an attractive person who surely will get the chance to have a beautiful woman fall for him again." He smiled.

Dorrien nodded slowly. "So it's true."

Rothen's smile vanished. "How comes you know?"

"I saw them together", Dorrien replied, his voice growing colder. "With their children."

Rothen's face softened and became sympathetic. "Dorrien, did you really expect her to wait for you for ten years? She grew up, you know. She isn't the little girl anymore that you had to save from Regin's insults. She's an outstanding Healer; you should see her Heal. It would make you, as a Healer, more than happy."

Dorrien said nothing. He struggled to believe everything he had expected to happen when he came to the Guild was not going to happen.

"Have you talked to her?" Rothen asked.

Dorrien shook his head. "I talked to her daughter but the father interrupted", he said dryly.

Rothen's eyes widened. "Akkarin saw you? Well, son, I would have thought you would take better care of who sees you."

Dorrien shrugged. "It doesn't matter. It would be the same when she'd married someone normal."

_No_, a voice said, _because you know that you will never get her back now. He's too much a man every woman would desire._

Rothen raised his eyebrows. "No? Well, you're probably right. But remember, Dorrien, you still can be friends. He lets her do everything she wants."

Dorrien snorted. "Why wouldn't he?"

Rothen bit his lips. "Just… nothing."

Dorrien raised one eyebrow. "You don't like Akkarin, either, do you, father?"

Rothen crossed his arms. "What do you mean, 'not like'? He's the High Lord. I don't have to like him, I have to admire and respect him."

Dorrien laughed. "You're right." He stood up. "I think I'll talk to her. Even if I can't be what I thought I could be for her, I can still be her friend." He paused. "I can take care of the children", he added dryly.

Rothen smiled. "Good idea, son. So be off. I'll see you later."

Dorrien nodded. He left the room, descended the stairs and walked up towards the grey house, the residence of the High Lord. It had hardly changed since he'd gone ten years ago.

Too soon he stood in front of the front door and was about to knock. He cleared his throat. Before he could touch the handle the door opened.

The room behind the door was empty. He stepped inside, feeling a tingle of nervousness running down his back.

He considered if he should dare to sit down one of the comfortable chairs that stood in there when a voice made him jump.

"Are you already back? Where's… Dorrien."

Dorrien stared at Sonea.

She wore the common Healer robe. Her hair that had grown to her middle back was tied into a pony tail. Her eyes were watching him with the same curiosity they had when Dorrien had kissed her so long ago. Her mouth, which had first formed an O, was now switching into a smile.

"Dorrien. It's so good to see you." She bowed forward and gave him a hug. Dorrien froze instantly. It seemed like a false hug. Like a friend's hug.

"How are you? You look a little… concerned. How's your village? You have to tell me _everything_!"

Sonea's smile was bright and wonderful. Dorrien swallowed hard. He watched her sit down and tried to smile back.

"I'm well, thank you. The village is great, we haven't had big problems. How are you? I see you… you're very successful."

Sonea blushed and she looked down. For a while no one said anything.

"Dorrien", Sonea finally began, "are you hurt? That I didn't… wait for you?"

Dorrien thought about it. Should he lie to her or should he tell her the truth?

He shook his head. "I'm not hurt. I'm… just a little disappointed. I thought what we had was… special."

Sonea's eyes looked sad. "Dorrien, what we had was… too short. When you left I thought I would wait for you, no matter what would happen. But after some time I realized that I couldn't wait. I knew I couldn't trust that you wouldn't fall for someone else. And I didn't want you to. And now… Dorrien, I'm happy. I really am." She looked at him and smiled wryly. "But it would make me even happier when I knew you were by my side and my friend. I hope someday you can be that for me."

Dorrien couldn't speak for a moment. She was right. How could she be right?

"You're not happy", he whispered. He felt his voice grow angry. "You think you are but you're not."

Sonea stared at him. "I am", she said calmly. "And I hope you will be too."

She stood up and turned around but Dorrien shouted: "No, you're not. He's… he made you into someone you aren't. You don't want to be."

Sonea turned around. Her eyes widened, then narrowed.

"Don't you dare to insult him", she hissed, "because he never made me do anything I didn't want. What did you expect? That I'd wait for you? I tried to tell you that we couldn't be anything more than friends, but you wouldn't listen."

Dorrien yelled: "Why couldn't we? Why? You _loved _me, I know it."

Sonea's eyes were glittering with tears. "I thought I could tell you. When I heard you were coming back I thought I could tell you everything. But now I know I can't. You know, now I'm the one who's disappointed."

Dorrien didn't notice the door opening. He snapped: "Oh, so everything's my fault now? I waited for you, Sonea. I did. And you… you didn't care a bit for me, did you? You never did."

"Stop yelling at my wife, Dorrien."

Freezing in his sentence, Dorrien turned around. Akkarin's eyes flashed at him. "Go", he just said. "Now."

Dorrien didn't care to protest. He just nodded and left the house. He should have known better. He should have guessed she wouldn't wait.

"I hate him", he suddenly yelled. Nobody was there to hear him but Dorrien didn't care anyway. He sat down on a bench and clenched his hands into fists.

He had lost. He should have known that he'd lose. Dorrien wiped away one tear of anger and leaned back. He had to convince Sonea. He had to. He had to apologize. He wanted to be her friend. That was the least he could do.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you guys for the reviews. I hope some things will be explained in following chapters. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own "The Black Magician Guild"

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_Sonea's POV_

Sonea stared out of the window and sighed quietly. She saw the figure of Dorrien stand up and go.

She thought she knew what he thought. That she hadn't cared for him, never, at all. But that wasn't true. How could she prove that, though?

She could talk to him. Calmly. Would he listen?

She doubted it. Dorrien was a wonderful person, she knew that. But it seemed like he had expected her to come running out of the university and hug him and say that she'd missed him so much and that she was ready to marry him.

The look of disappointment in his eyes would once probably have broken her heart but now she just felt sad. She wanted to be friends with him.

She could talk to Rothen. He could try to convince him to forgive her.

But why forgive? She'd done nothing wrong.

She clenched her fists in desperation.

"Mommy", a voice said, "what's wrong?"

Sonea looked up. Sicily stood in front of her and stared at her with big eyes.

"I'm fine, honey", she said softly.

You could see the features of her father in Sicily's face. Sonea looked at her and she began to relax a little. She didn't have to sort that problem out right now. She had to take care of her family, though.

Akkarin wasn't happy about Dorrien's appearance. He hadn't said a word but Sonea knew. He had hugged her and said it was going to be okay.

She remembered the day where everything had begun. It was half a year after she had fought Regin in the arena and won. They had sat down to have dinner together and talked. Sonea had known something had been going on every time she'd seen him. That day it had been extreme. They had looked each other in the eyes and suddenly she'd known he knew as well.

They had stood up, Takan, the servant, had been so sensible to disappear, and suddenly they were kissing and Sonea knew she was in love.

They had decided to hide their relationship, since guardians weren't allowed to have a relationship with their novices and the High Lord certainly wasn't.

But soon after her graduation everything had been clear. They had married, and Sonea _had_ thought about Dorrien but she knew she couldn't wait for him. He loved Healing more than he could ever love her.

Even Black Magic couldn't prevent everything. He had promised her he had his reasons and that, from now on, he would never practice it again since they were no reasons anymore. Sonea had believed him but she was still curious why he had needed it at all.

"Mommy", Sicily urged and grasped her mother's hand. "Did you hear what I just said?"

Sonea blinked and looked at her daughter. "I'm sorry, dear. I didn't listen. What did you say?"

"That Daddy said dinner's ready."

Sonea smiled and lifted Sicily up. She carried the girl up to the dining room.

Mako was already there, holding the knife and folk in his hands. Next to him sat his father and Sonea still got a tinge of excitement when she saw him.

She put Sicily down on a chair and let herself fall on the one beside.

Akkarin watched her inconspicuously and she threw him a wry smile. He nodded, obviously satisfied, and Takan brought the dinner.

While eating, Sonea thought about Dorrien, sitting alone in his room. He was an adult, thought. He could take care of himself.

After dinner, she sat on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She wasn't sure what to say to her husband. He would know something was going on.

"Sonea." She heard his voice and lifted her head. He stood at the edge of the bed.

"Are you alright?"

Sonea nodded. "I'm fine. I was just wondering about something."

"Tell me." He settled down beside her. "Dorrien?"

Sonea shrugged. "I don't know. No. About… why did you use Black Magic?"

With a surprisingly calm voice Akkarin replied: "I can tell you. But I don't think you want to know."

Sonea believed him. He knew her. "Then… why did you stop?"

Akkarin took her hand. "Because this… danger I had to fight…stopped. I don't know why but it did. And I want it to stay that way. As long as it does I won't look for the reason." He paused. "Maybe I will someday. But I won't endanger you and the children."

Sonea just nodded. "I believe you."

His face became very serious. "But Sonea, you have to promise me that if this danger becomes dangerous again you will leave with the kids when I tell you to."

Sonea looked into his serious eyes and had to giggle.

"What's there to giggle about?", Akkarin asked outraged.

Sonea smiled at him. "You're so serious. It's… strange. You act like ten years ago."

He smiled back. "But will you promise?"

Sonea took his hand. "Only if you promise you will come with us."

"No." His voice was hart again. "I can't. If it comes to that situation I will have to stay."

"Let's talk about something else", Sonea said.

"Alright." Akkarin made himself comfortable beside her. "What are you going to do about Dorrien?"

"I have no idea." She let her smile fade. "Do you… do you think it's a good idea if I write him a letter?"

"Sure. I think it's better than try to talk to him."

Sonea nodded. "I thought so."

She glanced at the window and thought at Dorrien sitting somewhere near. He would have to accept it. He would. She knew it.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you guys so much for reviewing!! Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'The Black Magicians' Guild'

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**

Dorrien lay on his bed when Rothen came in. He looked rather sympathetic.

"You got post", he said seriously.

Dorrien sat up. "What?", he murmured.

Rothen held an envelope out to him and he took it.

"Who wrote it?", he asked although he knew it. It was smartest way to explain things to him. But he had always known she was smart.

Rothen said nothing but left the room. Dorrien opened the envelope carefully and pulled the letter out.

Slowly he began to read.

_Dear Dorrien,_

_I know you came back to the Guild with certain expectations. I'm sorry that some or most of them didn't fulfill. I saw your face when you realized I'm no longer yours. But you can't blame me for not having waited for you. Would you do it, Dorrien? Would you wait for somebody who is miles away and attractive and wonderful? Wouldn't you think he or she moved on?_

_I can't tell you when my love to you faded. It never really did, I guess. You will always be one of my best friends. But you can't blame my husband. He likes you, actually. He knows you're a good guy, really. He's just worried about me. He knows I don't like you being angry with me and he tries to protect me. So please just accept that. Try not to yell at me. It might be hard to do that, I don't know. But it'd make things easier._

_You've surely realized that I'm a mother. It might seem kind of weird to you. But I love my children. And I hope you will get to love them too._

_I hope you will consider your anger after this letter, I really hope. You don't have to replay or something. You don't even have to come near me ever again. I just want you to know all this._

_With the love of a friend,_

_Sonea_

Dorrien looked up as soon as he ended the letter. After a short moment he crushed it with his hands. He didn't need her as a friend. He didn't want to be her friend. Not even her best friend.

He would ignore her, her children and her pathetic husband.

He leaned back, satisfied with his decision. She couldn't make him like her as a friend. He thought she knew she wasn't only a friend for him.

But she _had _known. She had written it. But she said she couldn't have waited for him.

Now she would have to wait for him. Because it would take a while until he could be her friend.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews. It's awesome. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own "The Black Magician's Guild"**

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Two weeks later Dorrien was packing his stuff. He had found some of his old paintings he had drawn when he was a child. He sighed and put them in his bag. Strangely enough, it felt like he wouldn't come back to the Guild. He didn't know what made him think that but this feeling, this certainty, scared him. He would come back. Maybe it would take a while until he could take a step on the Guild grounds without thinking about what he'd lost here but someday he would come back.

He had successfully avoided Sonea two weeks. She hadn't tried to talk to him either but that wasn't the point. He wondered if she expected him to talk to her or to write her a letter. Then again, she had told him he didn't have to replay.

Whatever.

The door opened and Rothen stepped in. He looked sad and disappointed and it hurt Dorrien to see that what he did not only hurt himself but others too.

"So you really are leaving" Rothen said, sighing. He sat down on Dorrien's old bed.

Dorrien watched him. "Are you disappointed in me?"

"I'm not disappointed in you. I'm disappointed by your leaving. I thought you wanted to stay at least a year."

Dorrien bit his lips. His father was right. He hadn't at all fulfilled the hopes and expectations of his father who had pictured them living together like a kind of family.

"I have to go" Dorrien replied, trying to raise a little bit of self-confidence.

Rothen looked up and his eyes were flashing. "You don't. Dorrien, there are other women. Sonea's not the only one."

Dorrien felt his face flush. "It's not only because of Sonea" he said reluctantly. "I have to go back to my village. The people need me there. Nobody here needs me. I know it sounds selfish and arrogant, to want to be needed by someone, but..."

"I need you, son." Rothen sounded desperate. "I miss you. I was so happy to have you here for a certain time, something I thought you would redeem. You wasn't someone to neglect something like this. You said you'd stay a year and I trusted your word. So please don't break your promise. Stay. We will sort this out. You could be friends..."

"I c_an't_." This time Dorrien's voice sounded annoyed and Rothen's face fell.

"I'm sorry that I bothered you. I'll see you when you leave."

He stood up and left the room.

Dorrien sighed deeply. Great. Now he felt even worse.

But staying was out of question. He wouldn't let them hurt him.

He stood up as well and grasped his stuff. He didn't care using his magic for this; he enjoyed doing something by hand sometimes.

Outside, his horse was already saddled and ready. He lifted his stuff and swung himself up.

"Goodbye, son" Rothen said, approaching him slowly. "Have a nice ride home."

"Thank you, father. Goodbye."

Dorrien spured his horse and soon they left the Guild grounds. He was just taking the corner towards the city when he saw something on the ground that made him freeze and stop his horse.

A small boy lay on the ground, two feet from the legs of his horse.

Dorrien jumped off the horse and bowed over the little child.

The boy was pale, dangerously pale, and Dorrien tried to feel his pulse.

He lived. But Dorrien the Healer knew that he had to act immediately.

Still, he hesitated. Not because, maybe, the task was too hard for him to manage.

But because it was Sonea's son.

Dorrien took a deep breath. Then he bowed over the boy...

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	7. Chapter 7

**Update! Thank you so much for reviewing! Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'

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_Sonea's POV_

Sonea stared out of the window. She could hardly make someone out in the dark. It had started raining softly and Sonea could hear the raindrops meeting the ground.

Mako was in the Healer building for further tests and Sonea were worried. Mako had spoken but his voice had been weak and he said he didn't know who or what had attacked him, it had been too fast.

Sicily had locked herself in her room, scared to go outside. She had kind of witnessed what happened to Mako and had been crying most of the times Sonea had seen her.

Akkarin was more tense than usual and he was frowning most of the time. Sonea hardly got to see him; in the mornings he told her he would be in the city and when he came back he looked even grimmer than before.

Sonea didn't know what she was supposed to do. Lady Vinara told her they would take care of Mako and that she should protect Sicily but Sicily was safe in her room. Now Sonea didn't know what to do.

With a sigh Sonea stood up and left the house, not without making sure a powerful ban was casted to protect the house from intruders. It also hindered Sicily from leaving the house but Sonea doubted she would even be tempted to go outside in the dark.

Sonea was about to create a shield to protect her from the rain but decided against it. Right now, she needed the water on her face.

After a minute her hair was already wet and in her face. She wiped it away and created a small light floating ahead of her.

She walked a while on her own. No one else was outside; even the younger students chose to stay in their rooms.

When she neared the Guild wall she considered to visit her aunt and uncle. They visited Sonea two times a month. Their children were young adults now. Sonea talked to them now and then about their work. The girl worked as a servant for one of the Houses and the boy was sailor but he was hardly at home. When he was, though, he would stop in front of the Guild on the way home and Sonea would come out and join him. That was one of the only occasions to visit her aunt and uncle. She was something like the Head of Healers; most thought that when Vinara retired Sonea would become Head of Healers. Sonea herself wasn't entirely sure whether she even wanted to but she knew she was a good Healer and she could finally help the people in the Slums. Even now, as wife of the High Lord, she didn't have the chance to get to Heal people there. Lorlen, who wanted to help her, couldn't give her permission because in the end the King had to decide whether he wanted his magicians to roam around in the city and help dwells.

Suddenly Sonea saw from the corner of her eyes a movement near the wall. Instinctively she created a powerful shield around herself and shot a careful power strike towards the wall.

She saw a flash of light as the strike met a shield. There was someone.

"Who is it?" she yelled.

There was silence for a moment. Then a familiar voice answered: "It's me, Dorrien. Please don't attack me again."

Sonea's eyes widened.

Dorrien stepped forward, lifting his hands. His hair and robes were drenched and his face was expressionless when he stepped into the light.

Sonea's voice became quiet. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, I thought you were… someone else."

"No. It's good to be safe", Dorrien said. He didn't smile.

Sonea looked down. "Dorrien, I…"

"No." Dorrien shook his head. "Don't say it. I… I know."

Sonea lifted her head in surprise. "You know what?"

Dorrien shrugged. It looked helplessly. "You don't love me anymore and everything in your letter was true. And I left because of you. I know I'm a coward but I couldn't stand to look into your eyes and see pity…"

His voice trailed off. "I hope you… understand. I will leave as soon as we found the attacker of Mako."

Sonea had to swallow at the thought of Dorrien rescuing her son. She hadn't even really thanked him.

"Thank you", she whispered. Dorrien raised his eyebrows.

"For what?"

"For saving him." Sonea didn't know what to say. "I… I didn't expect you to do it. I thought you hated me." She shrugged. "You probably do."

Dorrien looked surprised. "I don't. And even if I did… I couldn't let that stand between me and saving a child. Or anyone."

Sonea felt herself blush a little. Of course Dorrien had to save Mako. He was an excellent Healer, after all. "Of course." She allowed herself a small smile. "Do you know that Regin didn't become a Warrior?"

Dorrien's eyebrows shot in the air. "No?"

"No." Sonea grinned. "He's an Alchemist. Do you remember when we were in the library and Regin wanted to put this old inkwell of Lord Garin into my box in which I kept my records of the lessons and you let one of the other magicians see it? Regin's expression was priceless."

Dorrien started laughing. "Yes, that was one of my good ones. How is he?"

"Oh, I think he's doing well. He told me he wants to become a teacher."

Dorrien laughed again. "He talked to you?"

"Yes. In fact, we're getting along." She grimaced. "Well, at least we're talking. But I'm sure he'd like to see you."

Dorrien grinned. "Yes. He's probably looking forward to this since I've been away." He said with a scared high pitched voice: "Uh, Lord Dorrien, uhm, tell him I'm going to meet him in five minutes. I just have to empty my room and disappear through the window."

Sonea and Dorrien laughed so hard they didn't even care for the rain that was soaking their clothes.

Suddenly Sonea felt Dorrien's arm around her shoulders and she stopped laughing at once. Dorrien didn't seem to realize but kept on laughing and bowed over to her. Sonea felt his lips on hers and she took a step back.

"What…" she started but stopped. Dorrien's face was flushed and he seemed embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Sonea", he said desperately and held out a hand but Sonea shook her head.

"I..." she began, "I have to go."

She turned around and hurried off towards her house. A salty tear rolled down her cheek.

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**I hope you liked it. Little bit more Team Dorrien =P. Please review! (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for your reviews. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'TBMG'.

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**

Two day had passed since Dorrien had found Mako. He sat in Administrator Lorlen's office and leaned back in his chair. Next to him sat the three Higher Magician's, all surprisingly silent, chewing on their lips. It was an awkward situation. Even optimistic Lorlen said nothing.

The Administrator had called them in to consult about what happened to Mako. They were all sure that he had been attacked and Dorrien knew that they didn't know who it had been and that that was what scared them most.

He cleared his throat to break the silence and stood up. "If you allow, Administrator, Higher Magicians", he said nervously and quickly, "I'd like to present my opinion on this incident. I was the one who found the boy and I think I know what must have happened."

The others had looked up and listened curiously. Lorlen nodded. "Go on, Lord Dorrien."

Dorrien nodded, relieved. "The wall to define the Guild Grounds are twice a man's height. Nobody could have seen what had happened outside. I think the attacker had regarded this. Also he, I say _he_ but it could've been a woman as well, must have known when Mako would leave the Guild. That means he had to have watched him for a certain time. His acting time wasn't randomly chosen."

"You mean", Lorlen said, "the attacker must have had knowledge of the Guild and the boy."

Dorrien nodded. "Yes. But I also think he had chosen his victim carefully. He hadn't attacked the first person to leave the Guild Grounds."

Murmur filled the office as the Higher Magicians whispered something to each other.

Dorrien cleared his throat again. "But there's something else. And that's what makes me wonder."

The magicians became silent again.

"If the attacker had attacked facing the boy Mako would've been dead. Even the inner shield wouldn't have protected him. So I assume the attacker must have been on a tree or something. He may even have sat on the wall. But even then he would have easily been able to kill the boy. So that leads me to the assumption that somebody must have protected Mako or hindered the attacker from striking again."

Dorrien felt the eyes of the Higher Magicians lie on him. He tried to brush away the feeling of unease. He knew it was a bald suspicion but he had thought about it for a while and he knew it was the only reasonable explanation.

"Of course", he went on, "it could have been that the attacker didn't want the boy to die. But I found footprints on the ground. They ones leading out of the Guild were Mako's, but there were two other pairs. And they led both in the same direction until they vanish when they met the street." He hesitated. "I hope you find my explanation sensible."

He sat down and watched the expressions of the others.

Lord Sarin looked thoughtfully out of the window. Lord Balkan stared at the wall. Lady Vinara bit her lips before speaking.

"Lord Dorrien, I admit at first I couldn't really believe what you just told us but now it starts to make more sense. I haven't considered the possibility that there were two persons involved. I was still too shocked about someone attacking a child." She grimaced sadly.

Lorlen turned to Sarin. "Lord Sarin, do you have anything to say to Lord Dorrien's assumption?"

Lord Sarin nodded. "I just wonder", he said slowly, "if someone of the Guild had been the one who saved Mako. And if, why hasn't he or she said a word yet?"

Nobody answered. After a minute Lorlen turned to Balkan. "And you, Lord Balkan?"

Balkan seemed to consider his words carefully. "I think Lord Dorrien is right", he said finally.

Dorrien would have liked to sigh in relief but he kept on listening.

"I also think we should look for the attacker and his either accomplice or opponent. We should start a search all around the city, as we did when we sought Sonea."

Dorrien felt a lump rising in his throat. He felt himself blush when Lorlen threw him a pitiful look.

"Are you in touch with Sonea, Lord Dorrien?" he said rather softly.

Dorrien stared at him and thought about an appropriate reply when there was a knock and the door opened. Sonea stood in the doorframe. "I'm sorry", she said in a hushed voice. "But could I just talk to Lady Vinara? I'd like you to have a final look at Mako, if that's possible..."

Vinara nodded, stood up and left the room.

Dorrien felt strangely about seeing Sonea. She looked concerned and anxious. He wanted to help her but then again… Hadn't he wanted to go home because of her? Hadn't she embarrassed him so much he felt like he had to leave?

Lorlen stood up. "Lord Balkan, Lord Sarin. I think we've discussed enough for the moment. You can go."

Sarin and Balkan nodded and left the room.

Lorlen turned to Dorrien. "Lord Dorrien, I've known you since you were a child and I think I know why you wanted to leave two days ago."

He sat down and smiled sadly. "It's hard to believe but Sonea is in love."

Dorrien nodded. "I guessed so", he said roughly.

"No, I don't think so." Lorlen's smile widened. "I think you're still assuming she will return to you. Now I ask you, haven't you met any other women in the time you've been apart?"

Dorrien frowned. "I… Of course. But I wasn't interested…"

"Because you were still in love with Sonea. " Lorlen nodded. "I understand that. But doesn't it take two persons for the type of love you are seeking?"

Dorrien blushed. "It's just hard", he murmured and knew he sounded like a little child, "to let go."

"But you will sometime", Lorlen said. "I don't doubt that. Someday you'll find the person that will give you the love you deserved. Sonea is a charming delightful woman and I think I know why you fell in love with her. But she changed and you should too." He sighed. "I don't want to waste your time, Dorrien. You can go."

Dorrien nodded stiffly, stood up and left the room. He felt kind of strange.

Was Lorlen right? Should he let go?

Could he?

He sighed sadly. He would concentrate on the seeking of the attacker. At least there he was needed.

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**I hope you enjoyed. Please keep on reviewing (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**Update! Thank you so much for reviewing! Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'

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**

_Sonea's POV_

Sonea stared out of the window. She could hardly make someone out in the dark. It had started raining softly and Sonea could hear the raindrops falling to the ground.

Mako was in the Healer building for further tests and Sonea were worried. Mako had spoken but his voice had been weak and he said he didn't know who or what had attacked him, it had been too fast.

Sicily had locked herself in her room, too scared to go outside. She had kind of witnessed what happened to Mako and had been crying most of the times Sonea had seen her.

Akkarin was more tense than usual and he was frowning most of the time. Sonea hardly got to see him; in the mornings he told her he would be in the city and when he came back he looked even grimmer than before.

Sonea didn't know what she was supposed to do. Lady Vinara told her they would take care of Mako and that she should protect Sicily but Sicily was safe in her room. Now Sonea didn't know what to do.

With a sigh Sonea stood up and left the house, not without making sure a powerful ban was casted to protect the house from intruders. It also hindered Sicily from leaving the house but Sonea doubted she would even be tempted to go outside in the dark.

Sonea was about to create a shield to protect her from the rain but decided against it. Right now, she needed the water on her face.

After a minute her hair was already wet and in her face. She wiped it away and created a small light floating ahead of her.

She walked a while on her own. No one else was outside; even the younger students chose to stay in their rooms.

When she neared the Guild wall she considered to visit her aunt and uncle. They visited Sonea two times a month. Their children were young adults now. Sonea talked to them now and then, mostly about their work. The girl worked as a servant for one of the Houses and the boy was sailor but he was hardly at home. When he was, though, he would stop in front of the Guild on the way home and Sonea would come out and join him. That was one of the only occasions to visit her aunt and uncle. Sonea was something like the Head of Healers; most of the other Magicians thought that when Vinara retired Sonea would become Head of Healers. Sonea herself wasn't entirely sure whether she even wanted to but she knew she was a good Healer and as Head of Healers she could finally help the people in the Slums. Even now, as wife of the High Lord, she didn't have the chance to get to Heal people there. Lorlen, who wanted to help her, couldn't give her permission because in the end the King had to decide whether he wanted his magicians to roam around in the city and help dwells.

Suddenly Sonea saw from the corner of her eyes a movement near the wall. Instinctively she created a powerful shield around herself and shot a careful power strike towards the wall.

She saw a flash of light as the strike met a shield. Someone was there.

"Who is it?" she yelled.

There was silence for a moment. Then a familiar voice answered: "It's me, Dorrien. Please don't attack me again."

Sonea's eyes widened.

Dorrien stepped forward, lifting his hands. His hair and robes were drenched and his face was expressionless when he stepped into the light.

Sonea's voice became quiet. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, I thought you were… someone else."

"No. It's good to be safe", Dorrien said. He didn't smile.

Sonea looked down. "Dorrien, I…"

"No." Dorrien shook his head. "Don't say it. I… I know."

Sonea lifted her head in surprise. "You know what?"

Dorrien shrugged. It looked helplessly. "You don't love me anymore and everything in your letter was true. And I left because of you. I know I'm a coward but I couldn't stand to look into your eyes and see pity…"

His voice trailed off. "I hope you… understand. I will leave as soon as we found the attacker of Mako."

Sonea had to swallow at the thought of Dorrien rescuing her son. She hadn't even really thanked him.

"Thank you", she whispered. Dorrien raised her eyebrows.

"For what?"

"For saving him." Sonea didn't know what to say. "I… I didn't expect you to do it. I thought you hated me." She shrugged. "You probably do."

Dorrien looked surprised. "I don't. And even if I did… I couldn't let that stand between me and saving a child. Or anyone."

Sonea felt herself blush a little. Of course Dorrien had to save Mako. He was an excellent Healer, after all. "Of course." She allowed herself a small smile. "Do you know that Regin didn't become a Warrior?"

Dorrien's eyebrows shot in the air. "No?"

"No." Sonea grinned. "He's an Alchemist. Do you remember when we were in the library and Regin wanted to put this old inkwell of Lord Garin into my box in which I kept my records of the lessons and you let one of the other magicians see it? Regin's expression was priceless."

Dorrien started laughing. "Yes, that was one of my good ones. How is he?"

"Oh, I think he's doing well. He told me he wants to become a teacher."

Dorrien laughed again. "He talked to you?"

"Yes. In fact, we're getting along." She grimaced. "Well, at least we're talking. But I'm sure he'd like to see you."

Dorrien grinned. "Yes. He's probably looking forward to this since I've been away." He said with a scared high pitched voice: "Uh, Lord Dorrien, uhm, tell him I'm going to meet him in five minutes. I just have to empty my room and disappear through the window."

Sonea and Dorrien laughed so hard they didn't even care for the rain that was soaking their clothes.

Suddenly Sonea felt Dorrien's arm around her shoulders and she stopped laughing at once. Dorrien didn't seem to realize but kept on laughing and bowed over to her. Sonea felt his lips on hers and she took a step back.

"What…" she started but stopped. Dorrien's face was flushed and he seemed embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Sonea", he said desperately and held out a hand but Sonea shook her head.

"I..." she began, "I have to go."

She turned around and hurried off towards her house. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

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**I hope you liked it. Little bit more Team Dorrien =P. Please review! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey! Update! Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'TBMG'.

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**

The rain was pouring against the window when Lorlen looked out. He could see a person wandering around.

Surprised, Lorlen took a step towards the window. It was too dark for him to recognize the person but he had a vague assumption who it could be.

He sighed.

The attacker's search went not as good as it had been expected. The people in the Slums had offered to help, fortunately, but as nobody knew how the attacker looked, even whether it was a man or a woman, there was hardly any progress.

Dorrien had been eager from the first day of the search, but now even he started to get pessimistic.

Lorlen had talked to the King who had said he approved of the search, since (he didn't say that but Lorlen knew) he didn't want any magician to roam around in his city, not mentioning two, as Dorrien said they could assume the second person who had been present was a magician as well since he or she had known how to stop the attacker.

Also, the people in the Slums had gotten scared of the unknown person, who could hurt them. The Guild had to deal with hundreds of people everyday who stood in front of the Guild screaming and shouting that they should find the attacker.

Lorlen had told them they shouldn't be scared, that it could be a mistake, but he knew if he would be one of the people out there he wouldn't be less afraid.

He was about to turn back to his work when he saw a second person approaching. This time he recognized them.

Sonea's light was floating ahead of her and Lorlen could make out her face. It looked surprised, probably at seeing Dorrien.

Lorlen had to smile as he watched them talk. Maybe this was the re-beginning of their friendship.

But then something happened that made Lorlen freeze.

Dorrien bowed over Sonea and – kissed her.

Surely enough, Sonea took a quick step back and a moment later she walked away.

Dorrien looked after her for a long while until he turned around and entered the University.

Lorlen hurried out of his rooms and ran up the stairs. Dorrien was ascending the stairs up to the Library as Lorlen shouted: "Lord Dorrien."

Even if it wasn't intended his voice was sharp. Dorrien turned around, surprised.

"Administrator", he called and hurried down the steps.

Lorlen tried to keep a calm face when Dorrien stopped in front of him. But as he spoke, he saw Dorrien's face change and he knew his expression betrayed him. "I saw you outside. I saw what you were doing."

Dorrien's face fell. He threw his hands in the air. "I know it wasn't the best idea I've ever had but…"

"No, it wasn't", Lorlen cut him off. "When you plan to go on like this you will not only hurt yourself but Sonea as well, and her children and her husband." He sighed. "Dorrien, I'm very fond of you. But you have to let her go."

Dorrien's face got kinda red. "You say that as if it was the easiest thing of the world", he bellowed. "Do you think I didn't want that? Do you think I didn't try? It's just not that easy and I know you won't understand but I love her. And I think a part of her loves me too."

Lorlen and Dorrien stared in each other's eyes. "Dorrien", Lorlen said quietly and slowly, "I think you're making a great mistake. But in the end it's not my task to help you out of this. But if you really love her, then you wouldn't do this to you. I hope you know that."

Lorlen turned around and walked away and after he turned around the corner he heard Dorrien's sobbing and sighed sadly.

He hadn't wanted to hurt him. And he knew Dorrien would figure out the right thing.

But what about Akkarin? How would he react when he found out about the kiss?

Would he find out?

Lorlen decided he wouldn't be the one to tell him. He wasn't going to interfere again.

Now it was Dorrien's turn to decide what he was going to do.

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**I hope you enjoyed. Please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Finally, Update. Disclainer: I DO NOT own 'TBMG'**.

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Sonea had never run this fast in her life. She didn't pause to greet Lord Balkan, who was actually outside and walking in the rain, but passed him without a look.

As soon as she saw the residency she sped up once again and entered the house. The rain was floating down her coat and onto the floor.

Sonea didn't care. The servant stared at her, mouth open, as though about to ask the ridiculous question where she had been.

Sonea felt as if the whole Guild, the whole city, the whole country had seen her kissing Dorrien.

She ran up to her children's bedroom and stormed inside.

Sicily sat on her bed and read a book. When Sonea came in she looked up, surprised and curious.

"What happened to you, Mommy? Why are you so wet?"

Sonea just shook her head, sat down next to her daughter and took Sicily's hands in hers.

"A friend of mine just did the stupidest thing I've ever seen him doing."

Sicily stared at her, bemused. "I don't really understand, Mommy, but I would like you to dry a little. You are kind of making me wet."

"I'm sorry, honey."

Sonea closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them again, her robes were dried.

"Is your father at home? I need to talk to him." Her voice sounded more urgent than she'd wanted it to be.

"Um, no, I don't think so", Sicily said carefully. "He came back from the city and told me he'd visit Mako. That was around ten minutes ago."

Sonea bit her lips. Had he seen them? Maybe he had looked out of the window of the Healer's Quarters and had seen Dorrien bowing over to her, kissing her…

He would be angry. Sonea knew him. He was too sensible to storm over to Dorrien and fight him but he would demand an explanation from her.

Did she have one?

Yes. Of course she did. Dorrien couldn't stand her being with Akkarin and wanted to destroy their relationship. All at once, Sonea got angry with Dorrien. And if Akkarin had witnessed the kiss Dorrien had won.

No, Sonea thought. She wouldn't let that happen. She had been fond of Dorrien from the moment she met him and if he wanted to destroy all that… Go on then! But he wouldn't get her back like that.

She stood up. "I'll be back soon, darling. Don't worry."

Sicily nodded shortly and disappeared behind her book.

Sonea left the residence and walked over to the Healer's Quarters. It was raining even more and this time she chose to create a shield. She wasn't in the mood to get even wetter.

When she arrived at the building she looked around, scared of seeing her husband glaring at her, but he wasn't in the entrance hall.

A Healer stood in the center of the room, going through some papers. When Sonea cleared her throat she looked up.

"Can I help you?" she said, smiling.

Sonea nodded. "I'm looking for…"

"Sonea."

Sonea turned her head.

Akkarin came out of the room Sonea knew Mako was in, and stared at her in fear. "What happened? What are you doing here?"

Sonea realized at once that he hadn't got a clue.

She let her breath out in relief and strode over to him. "Can we talk?"

Akkarin frowned. "You… you know?"

Sonea stared at him. What did he mean? "Know what?"

"Come on in", he said, his voice tense.

Sonea entered the room behind him.

Mako was lying on a bed, reading a book. He wasn't that pale anymore and when Sonea came over to him he grinned.

"Mom, it's good to see you."

Sonea hugged him and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"You look much better", she said, smiling.

"Thank you", Mako replied dryly.

Sonea ignored it. She turned to Akkarin. "What do you mean?" she asked again in a low voice.

Akkarin beckoned her to come over to the corner of the room that was separated from the main room so Mako couldn't hear them.

Akkarin looked into Sonea's eyes and she knew at once that she wasn't going to like what he was about to tell her.

"I think I know who attacked Mako", he said quietly.

Sonea's eyes widened.

"Who? Did you get him? Can I help…?"

"Sonea." Sonea stared into his eyes. Akkarin sighed quietly. "Do you remember what I told you about Black Magic? About why I used it? And why I stopped using it?"

"Because the danger was gone", Sonea said slowly.

Akkarin grimaced. "I think it's back."

Sonea stared at him in disbelief and horror and the urge to tell him about Dorrien and everything else vanished altogether.

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**I hope you enjoyed. Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Wow, it's been a while since my last update. Well, here's the next chapter. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'.

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**

„What are we going to do?" Sonea whispered. She lay on the floor in the bedroom next to her husband. It was dark outside. They had come back from Mako an hour ago and had barely talked at all. Sonea had chosen to settle down on the floor and Akkarin had done the same.

"I don't know." Akkarin's voice was hoarse. "I feel like the first time in my life I have no idea what we're to do."

Sonea turned her head. "Do you like that feeling? You know, for some people this is normal."

Akkarin shrugged. "I don't think so. It makes me feel… vulnerable."

"Well, that's how most people feel", Sonea said. "I do, too, sometimes."

"Tell me a moment when you didn't know what to do."

Sonea thought about it. "I think", she said slowly, "when I was on the run and part of me wanted the Guild to help me but the other stronger part told me to hide. I think that was a moment when I really had no idea at all what I was supposed to do."

"But you made the right decision, didn't you?"

"Others made that decision for me." Sonea smiled. "I guess it's easier to let others decide for you. I think if you have to decide a real heavy thing you shouldn't do it on your own. Sometimes it's easier when someone has your back."

"I wish someone had my back now, too…"

Sonea stared into his dark eyes. "I have your back. Whatever comes, I'll be there for you. I love you."

She felt him take her hand. "I love you too. More than anything else. And I won't let anything happen to you or our kids."

"I know", Sonea whispered. "And I have to tell you something. The actual reason I went to see you at the Healers' Quarters."

She could see Akkarin frown. "What is it?"

"You know, I wanted to get out for a while, so I went for a walk and I met Dorrien. We talked and I thought we were getting along fine but then…" She paused. "I don't think he knew what he was doing but he just kissed me. I… I let go immediately and shouted at him and left but it just… happened and I thought you should know."

Akkarin said nothing.

"Are you angry?" Sonea said quietly, expecting the worse.

"No", he replied quietly. "I'm not. Because I read Dorrien's mind some days ago and I knew he still loved you."

Sonea sat up. "You read his mind?"

Akkarin sat up too. "It wasn't really intentionally. I just wanted to know whether he kept being so unfair to you because he hated you or something…"

Sonea couldn't keep her anger out of her voice. "He doesn't hate me and you know that. And I thought… you said you had stopped reading people's minds. You promised."

"I didn't mean to, alright?" Akkarin's voice grew louder. "I'm sorry, Sonea, if I hurt your feelings. But now I know that it wasn't you who kissed him because I know he was in love with you."

"So you didn't trust me?" Sonea shouted. "You have to read minds before you can trust me? Great, oh, just great. What is your problem?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

They stared each other in the eyes when the door opened.

"Why are you shouting?"

Sicily stood in the door frame and looked up at them with great eyes.

Akkarin ran his fingers through his hair and Sonea knelt down to hug Sicily.

"I'm sorry", she whispered. "Are you alright?"

Sicily nodded. "I'm just scared."

"We are all scared", Sonea said. "And nothing's going to change that right now. But we can hold together and trust each other-", she shot Akkarin a look, "and we'll be fine. Do you want to stay here with us?"

Sicily nodded again.

They settled down on the bed this time. After a while Akkarin whispered: "I'm sorry."

Sonea sighed. "I know."

She took hold of his hands and pressed it. They had to stick together now. And she had to talk to Dorrien. She had to send him away. She knew that.

It would be hard but in the end… it would be the right thing to do.

Wouldn't it?

Right now Sonea wished someone would decide that for her.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Please review.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey!! Update. xD Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'.

* * *

**

The room was dark and cold. Only a dusty lamp lighted the room. There was a table in the middle of the room, two stools, one of which was taken. The man had a grim face, His hair was greasy and long, his hand was clenched into a fist and his eyes flashed coldly, as the door opened and a man with broad shoulders came in. He was followed by a younger man who had black hair, was rather small and looked not scared but impressed.

"Govona", said the grim man and stood up. "Welcome back. And who's with you?"

The second man nodded once and said: "The informant we talked about."

"Ah", he said, nodding. "Well, come on in, young man. We have a lot to talk about."

The younger man said nothing. He entered the room carefully and didn't raise his eyes to look at the two men.

"Thank you, Govona", said the first man. "You can go. I'll deal with this one."

Govona left the room without another word.

"Sit down", he ordered.

The young man sat down and stared at the ground.

The grim man sat down as well and looked at the boy for a while. When he spoke he chose his words carefully.

"My name is Ponala. I'm obviously not from here. I'm from Sachaka."

The boy said nothing.

"My people told me you had information about the Guild. I won't tell you the reasons I have for asking you questions because you wouldn't have agreed to talk to me today if you hadn't known what…effects this could have on the Guild. Am I right?"

The boy didn't look up but nodded.

"We should begin. Are you a magician?"

The boy shook his head.

"Have you been inside the Guild before?"

This time, the boy nodded.

Ponala was silent for a moment.

"Do you have certain relationships with members of the Guild? I ask this", he added when he saw the surprised expression of the boy, "because I cannot make a plan on the assertions of a boy who only wants to take vengeance on a lost love."

The boy shook his head and looked up. His eyes were surprisingly hard and his lips were thin.

"Alright, then. Why do you want to harm the Guild if not because of a broken heart? You're a young man; do you already have prejudice against such an impressive, important community?"

Ponala was excited about what the boy said to this question. He would probably not answer… Or he would admit that it is because of lost love…

Suddenly the boy looked him straight in the eyes. "I won't tell you my reasons for doing this. I want to help you. If that is not enough for you, then send me away now. But you can be sure that my information will be very useful."

Surprised, Ponala stared at him for a minute. Then the corner of his mouth curled into a wry smile.

"I see. That seems fair enough. I will listen to what you have to say. After that I will consider your reward."

The boy nodded. His voice was strong and clear. The image of a small shy boy had vanished altogether. In front of Ponala sat a young strong smart man who had things to offer that could be priceless.

"Speak."

"I've sneaked into the Guild a few times. Every time I've been there I tried to get to know another detail about the Guild. I know now where the secret passages are, who the Higher Magicians are and what their ambitions are. I know when the magicians meet to talk about important news. I know something about every magician who is important. I can tell you how to get in and out. I even have friends in there who can help me get into the university. I know books in which you can find the exact building plan of the Guild. I think", he finished, "I know pretty much about the Guild."

Ponala said nothing for a while. Some of the things the boy had said they already knew. But others… he had said he had friends in there. That could be useful. And he said he'd been in there a few times. That meant it was possible to get in, even quite easy. And the boy hadn't said anything about magical protections.

Of course, they had to check if that what the boy said was true. But they would find that out quite easily, when the others arrived…

"Alright, boy", Ponala said. "You could be useful. Govona will lead you out and inform you when you are to revisit me."

The boy nodded. He didn't seem surprised or afraid by the fact that Ponala was willing to talk to him again in near future. He was perfectly calm.

Ponala stood up and so did the boy. "Wait", Ponala said before the boy could leave the room. "I need to know your name. You know, when we're supposed to work together I prefer not to call you 'boy' all the time."

The boy nodded shortly. "My name's Ceryni. But most people call me Cery."

"Fine, Cery." Ponala grinned. "We'll see if you're any help."

Cery turned around and left the room.

Ponala sat down. He wondered what this young man was about. Whether he spoke the truth.

Well, they would soon find out.

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**I hope you liked it. Please review.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Oops, I guess it's been a while. Well, anyways, here's the new chapter. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'.

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**

It was the next morning. The air was cold and clear and the sun wasn't in her full shape yet. Sonea had gone out early and had just walked to the place Dorrien had shown her so many years ago. Now she sat on one of the rocks that were hidden by the leaves of the trees surrounding the place. She watched the water pour out of the crack in the rocks and sighed.

She remembered going up here with Dorrien, he talking about the problems the city had with the slums and the much deeper problems that nobody would acknowledge. Sonea had listened, surprised, that another magician who came from one of the Houses would talk about the King and the Houses like that. She had been amazed, at first, until she realized that Dorrien wasn't at all like every other magician. He was sensible and reasonable but could be funny and lovely when he wanted to be.

To tell the truth, he would probably have been the perfect match.

But maybe, the thought, there were other things she needed to regard. It was true, she had fancied Dorrien but she had known back then that it wasn't for ever. What she felt for Akkarin was different. Grown-up.

She sighed again when she thought about Mako. Something was going on out there and she wanted to know what. She _had _to know what.

She was interrupted by a strange noise coming from one of the great bushes. She stood up, frowning, and went over to the source of the noise.

And gasped when she made out a head.

Creating a shield around her, she swallowed hard and said loudly: "Whoever you are, come out."

"Sonea?"

Her mouth fell open when Cery stepped out of the bushes. He looked rather guilty and when she met his eyes he looked away quickly.

"Cery?" She shook her head in confusion. "What are you doing here? You do know that you are allowed to enter through the gates, do you?"

Cery blushed. "Yes, I know. I'm sorry if I scared you but I was just roaming around when I got here. What… What are you doing here? It's a nice place."

Sonea smiled sadly. "It is, isn't it? Well, you know, worrying, mainly."

Cery frowned. "Why? Why are you worrying? Is there something... disturbing you?"

Sonea raised her eyebrows. "You mean, you haven't heard about the attack?"

She saw Cery swallow. "Um, no. What… what exactly happened?"

She sighed. "It was… terrible. It's… Mako, he went outside the Guild to play and when we found him he was unconscious… something or someone attacked him… He's fine now", she added quickly when she saw Cery's eyes widen in horror. "Dorrien saved him."

Why seemed Cery so nervous? "What about you?" she asked. "Still playing the Thief?"

Cery laughed nervously. "Yes, you know… Listen, I've got… I've got to tell you something."

He took a step towards her and opened his mouth to speak. But then it fell shut again.

"It's… it's not important", he murmured. "Can I speak with Mako? Will he be OK?"

Sonea nodded. "Sure. Cery, are you sure you're alright? You seem quite nervous. The Thieves aren't blackmailing you or something?"

For a moment Cery didn't move an inch. Then he shook his head. "No, it's… it doesn't matter." When he looked up he was smiling but Sonea knew Cery well enough to know it was a fake one.

But Sonea smiled back. "Alright. C'mon, I'll lead the way."

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**I hope you liked it. Please review. (:**


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks for reviewing; here's an update. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'._

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As soon as Cery had gone Sonea went over to the magicians' quarters. She knew she could meet Dorrien on the way but she had to talk to Rothen.

She met some other magicians who nodded politely and Sonea gave them a quick smile. She hurried up the stairs to the quarters and almost ran the last steps before she stopped at Rothen's door. She took a deep breath and knocked.

After a moment the door opened and Rothen smiled at her. "Sonea! It's very nice to see you. How are you?"

Sonea gave him a hug. "I'm fine", she said and tried to give him a confident grin but she didn't found the strength to do it. Rothen's expression became concerned.

"Come on in", he said.

Sonea sat down at the dining table and sighed quietly. It was nice to be in here again; she knew these rooms so well and to see that they were still like they used to be was calming.

Rothen sat down in front of her. "I think I know what you want to talk about", he said calmly.

Sonea looked down. "Did I hurt him?"

Rothen raised his eyebrows. "Dorrien wasn't hurt by you. He was hurt by himself", he said mildly. "He came here expecting everything to be as it used to be. He thought you'd be the same girl you were ten years ago. So don't blame yourself, Sonea."

Sonea shook her head. "Could you… Did he tell you… what happened?"

Rothen made a dismissive movement with his hands. "Dorrien acted stupidly, I know that. He told me about it and he said he was sorry. I just… I'm just wondering if you really did tell Dorrien those ten years ago that you didn't think you could be together."

Sonea's eyes widened. "Do you think I made it up? Do you think I'm still in love with him?" She shook her head. "I love him, I do. But in a different way. You… I thought you'd understand."

"Sonea, this is not about understanding or misunderstanding. This is about Dorrien thinking you chose Akkarin to make him jealous."

Sonea's mouth fell open. "He told you that?"

"Yes, he did", Rothen said simply. "He thinks you're only with Akkarin because you want him to fight for you. Because he didn't back then – he went back to his village and left you alone."

"Only because I wanted him to", Sonea said, her voice rising. "I did not get together with Akkarin to make him jealous. I wouldn't… When I sent him away it was because I wanted him to be happy – to find someone out there in the world who could make him happier than I ever could. What's wrong with that? You just… You don't understand."

They said nothing for a minute. When Rothen spoke again his voice was slightly colder than before.

"Alright. So you aren't with Akkarin to make Dorrien jealous. But he told me – and I'm sorry if he was wrong – that you kissed him back."

"Only because I was surprised", Sonea said loudly. "It didn't mean anything."

"Don't you know, Sonea?" a voice said. "A kiss always means something."

Sonea turned around. Dorrien was staring at her intently, his eyes shining. He took a step towards her and Sonea froze.

"Are you scared of me, Sonea?" Dorrien said, sounding amused and sad at the same time. "I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you didn't", Sonea said. "You didn't let me explain. Dorrien, I can't be with you, not because I _can't_, but because I'm not in love with you and I know someone out there will make you a lot happier. Do you understand? I didn't want to make you jealous or anything. I didn't know you would come back here and expect me to… to marry you or something. I just wanted you to be free. Alright? I wanted you to be happy."

Expecting a mocking or loud response, Sonea took a step back. But instead Dorrien smiled. "Alright."

Sonea's eyes widened. "Alright?"

"Of course." Dorrien sighed. "I'm sorry if I hurt you or embarrassed you or anything – I just couldn't understand what you were doing. You sent me away – I'll let go. It's as easy as that. Are you – finally – satisfied?"

Sonea looked into his eyes and began to smile. "Yes", she breathed, "I am."

Dorrien took another step forward and Sonea went over to him and hugged him, shortly, but tightly.

After a moment she let go. Dorrien looked at her and his whole face was smiling.

"Why, Sonea, I thought you would never speak to me again after now, let alone _touch_ me."

Sonea grinned. "You are an idiot, you know that?" She sighed. "I have to go now. See you later, alright?"

Rothen smiled and Dorrien winked at her. Sonea turned around and left the room. It was over. He had finally let go. And maybe – _maybe _- a small part of her was disappointed.

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_I hope you enjoyed. Please review._


	16. Chapter 16

**Huh. It's been a while, I know. Anyway, here's the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own 'BMG'.

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**Sonea sat on a bench in the sun and leaned back against a tree. It was a nice surprisingly warm day and although it was still early in the morning a lot of people were already walking around outside.

Sonea jumped when a voice said: "Sonea?"

She looked up and saw Regin standing in front of her, giving her a smile. "Regin. How are you?"

Regin smiled wryly. "Good. I'm engaged."

Sonea raised her eyebrows. "Really? To who? Congratulations."

Regin sat down next to her. "To Bina. I don't know whether you remember her."

Sonea grimaced. "I think I do. So. How long have the two of you been together?"

Regin shrugged. "A few years. I think it's a good time."

"It's not about how long you have been together. You have to be ready." She gave him a questioning look. "Are you ready?"

"If I'm… Of course I… I… am not sure." Regin sighed sadly. "I mean Bina's nice and sweet and pretty but I… Do you know the feeling when you want something to be true but you know that it isn't? When you want to like someone but you can't? When you… want to hate someone but you can't?" Regin looked up and threw her a pleading look.

Sonea smiled sadly back. "I'm not sure, Regin. No, I don't think I know that. I mean I don't choose the people I like or not."

"Well, I do. Bina waited the whole last year for me to propose and last week she told me she would leave me if I didn't ask her. I didn't want to lose her so I asked her." He sighed. "Was it the right decision?"

Sonea frowned. "You're not ready to be married", she simply said.

"But I want to be", said Regin desperately. "I have to be. Bina…"

"…will stay with you if she truly loves you", Sonea interrupted. "Tell her you're not ready. Because I see that you're not."

Regin sighed again but Sonea thought she heard some relief in it.

Two years after graduation Sonea had been working in the library when Regin entered and sat down next to her. For a while neither of them spoke. Sonea hadn't even noticed him. Regin had cleared his throat and said: "I'm sorry."

Sonea stared at him. "Is this some kind of joke? Are your so-called friends hiding behind a bookshelf? If they are you're pathetic."

"They're not. I'm here on my own. To say I'm sorry." He didn't meet her eyes. "We thought you were weak and stupid. We thought you didn't belong here. But I know better now. You're stronger than most of the other magicians although that's not the reason I've come here." He tried a smile. "I want you to know that you can count on me. I want to make it up to you, so if you need somebody to talk to or anything else just tell me."

Sonea pursed her lips. "You really mean it." She shook her head, half-disbelieving, half-amused. "But I'm not sure if the first person I would talk to is you."

Regin blushed slightly. "I know. Just, you know. Sometimes you just can't talk to your friends."

Sonea gave him a slight smile. "Then I'll know who to talk to."

Regin had nodded, stood up and left and Sonea had looked after him, wondering what had happened to this boy.

Some days later he had left her a message. It was short but meaningful.

"I'm leaving today to Elyne to visit Ambassador Dannyl. Will be back in around two years. Just wanted to let you know. Regin."

Sonea had been surprised and confused but when she talked to Lorlen Regin had already left.

Two years later Regin came back and Sonea invited him to talk. They sat in her house and actually laughed about their novice years. Regin told her about Elyne and Dannyl and she explained what had happened home.

When Regin had left the house Akkarin came home. He asked her what she had been doing and she had said: "I've been talking to a friend." She had called him a 'friend' ever since.

"So", Regin said now, "how are the children?"

Sonea smiled weakly. "They're alright. They mainly stay in their rooms but at least I know they're safe there."

Regin pressed her hand. "They'll be fine. You can protect them."

Sonea shook her head helplessly. "Can I? I want to but I'm scared I'm not strong enough."

Regin laughed. "You beat me and around twenty other novices and you were on your own. Now you have not only your husband but the whole Guild on your side."

Sonea nodded slightly. "You're right", she said quietly.

"I know", said Regin and grinned. "So don't you worry so much. Listen, I have to go tell Bina I'm no longer engaged to her." He grimaced and Sonea laughed quietly.

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

Sonea watched Regin walk away and suddenly knew that she wasn't on her own. Regin was there. Her family was there. Cery, Harrin, all of her old friends. She was anything but on her own.

She leaned back against the tree. Regin had changed so much. To say it had been surprising would be an understatement.

She was just glad that Regin was on her side now. He could really be a good friend.

Lady Vinara walked passed her and waved. "Nice weather, huh?" she asked, smiling.

Sonea smiled back. "Yes. It is."

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**I hope you liked it. Please review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**It's been almost two months since the last chapter was posted and it's kind of embarrassing. I thought about leaving the story but today I wanted to update because I don't like stories being left behind, neither mine nor other stories. So here it goes.

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**

Sonea entered the house and called Sicily's name. When she didn't answer she stepped up the stairs and knocked at her room's door.

"Darling? Are you inside? It's mommy."

The door opened a slight and Sicily stared up at her in fear.

Sonea frowned. "What's going on?"

Sicily said in a whisper: "There's someone in the house."

Sonea tensed at once. She created a shield around herself and her daughter and said quietly: "Stay in your room, alright? I'll be right back."

"Don't go." Sicily's eyes filled with tears. "Please. Don't leave me."

They heard a crunch from downstairs and Sonea pulled her daughter closer. "Alright. Come with me."

They descended the stairs slowly. Sonea looked around. Everything looked as usual.

"Mommy", Sicily breathed, "there!"

She pointed at the door leading to the underground room. It was open and the sounds seemed to come from there.

"Stay here." Sonea let her daughter's hand go and slipped through the door and down the stairs.

The door to Akkarin's room was closed. He kept it locked.

Sonea broke the shield around the door with a simple strike and the door fell open silently.

The light was on and a person was inside, looking through the things on the table. Sonea saw a bowl and glasses crashed on the floor. Whoever it was, he or she wasn't being careful.

Sonea considered quickly. She could send out a weak power strike and see what happened. If the person was a magician, though, he or she would know that she was there and Sonea didn't know how strong they were. It was too much a risk.

She stayed put waiting behind the door, peering into the room. Then the person turned around and Sonea recognized Cery. She gasped and he looked at her in surprise and horror.

"Cery?" Sonea whispered.

Cery lifted his hands as though to say he didn't do anything. "Sonea, it's not what you think."

The relief on Sonea's face that it wasn't a strange magician changed to fury. She stared at him in anger and confusion. "What do you think you're doing, roaming around in my house?" she yelled. Cery shook his head.

"No, I wasn't roaming…"

"You were." Sonea didn't know what to say. What was Cery doing? Something was wrong. "What's going on with you, Cery? You know how easily scared Sicily is. You could just have knocked. She would've let you in."

"I thought nobody was home." Sonea was terrified of how cold Cery sounded. "I was waiting for you and I thought I could just go through the house…"

"You've been to this house a million times, Cery", Sonea replied coolly. "You could have asked me to show you this room. It's locked for a reason, you know. How did you get in anyway?"

"I didn't come to that door, Sonea", Cery responded, sounding impatient. "Alright, the truth is… I was trying out some new passages I've found and I ended up in here. I didn't even know this was your house until you burst in."

Sonea's mouth fell open. "You're lying." She tried to calm her voice. "Get out, Cery. Now. And the next time you want to visit me, just knock. Or better don't come back at all."

Cery's facade broke. „I'm your friend, Sonea", he said coldly. "You can't just kick me out."

Sonea shook her head in desperation. "Something's going on with you. You're sneaking around; you're entering my house without anyone knowing and you're scaring my children. Just leave and when, _if_, you come back, you better be the Cery I used to know."

Cery looked at her for a moment. Then he walked over to a door at the back of the room, opened it and disappeared.

Sonea sank to her knees. If Cery could enter their house that easily, someone else could, too. She had to talk to Akkarin about this.

A small hand appeared on her shoulder. "Who was it?" Sicily asked.

"Someone you don't know", Sonea replied. "But I don't think he wanted to scare you, honey."

"Where did he go?"

"I think", Sonea said, "he's looking for Cery."

Sicily stared at her. "The stranger knows Cery?"

Sonea sighed. "I think he did."

They sat in silence for a while until a voice said loudly from upstairs: "Sonea? Are you at home?"

Akkarin came down the stairs and found them sitting on the steps. "What's going on?" he asked, frowning.

Sonea stood up and shot him a furious look. "We have to talk", she said stiffly.

Sicily's hand was still in hers. She remembered Cery's cold look. What was really going on?

Akkarin sighed. "How about you tell me what's wrong at first."

He didn't know? How could he not know that he had an entrance to this house in his secret room and every person outside in the Slums could just find it and enter the house?

"Fine", she said calmly. "Sicily, go upstairs, would you?"

"Alright, Mommy", she said. Sicily climbed up the stairs and sat down in her room. She looked out of the window and saw the nice weather. Oh she would love to go outside.

But then she saw a man, sitting on the grass, staring at the house. She recognized him. Smiling, she waved at Cery, but he didn't wave back. He just nodded.

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**I hope you liked it but if you have any suggestions at all about how the story could continue please PM me. Thanks. And please review. Thanks. (:**


	18. Author's Note

**_Hey you guys. Unfortunately I have decided to delay the updating of this story for a while. I hope I'm going to have the chance to update this sometime, but for now you could consider this story as ended. Thanks for your many many reviews and your support. If you have any ideas of how the story could continue, please contact me. Thank you._**


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